The Canon T5i Rebel

Concept: 1 out of 5
Execution: 2 out of 5
Yeah, but: Canon T5i Rebel don't care.

Counter Opinion: This is the Canon T5i Rebel. Watch it run in slow motion. It's pretty bad-ass.

Look, it runs all over the place. "Woah, watch out!" says that Pentax. Ew it's got a Nikon? Oh, it's chasing a Sony? Oh my gosh! Oh the Canon T5i Rebels are just flippy!

The Canon T5i Rebel's been referred to by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most fearless camera in all the camera kingdom. It really doesn't give a shit. If it's hungry, it's hungry – ew what's that in its mouth? Oh it's got a Nikon? Oh it runs backwards? Now watch this, look, a Nikon's up in a tree. Canon T5i Rebel don't care. Canon T5i Rebel don't give a shit, it just takes what it wants. Whenever it's hungry it just – ew! And it eats Nikons?

Oh my God watch it dig. Look at that digging. The Canon T5i Rebel's really pretty bad-ass. They have no regard for any other camera whatsoever. Look at him just grunting and – ew! Eating Nikons! Ew what's that, a Fujifilm? Oh that's nasty. Oh, they're so nasty! Oo look! It's chasing things, and eating them.

The Canon T5i Rebels have a fairly long body, but a distinctly thick set, broad shoulders, and you know, their, their skin is loose, allowing them to move about freely, they twist around. Now look, here's a house full of Panasonics. You think the Canon T5i Rebel cares? It doesn't give a shit. It goes right into the house of Panasonics to get some Olympus.

How disgusting is that? It eats Olympus. Ew, that's so nasty.

But look, the Canon T5i Rebel doesn't care, it's getting stung like a thousand times. It doesn't give a shit, it just, it's hungry. It doesn't care about being stung by Panasonics. Nothing can stop the Canon T5i Rebel when it's hungry.

Oh what a nasty fuck! Look! Ew, it's eating Olympus, that's disgusting. There it is running in slow motion again. See?

Now what's interesting is that other, other cameras like these Pentax here, they just like to wait around until the Canon T5i Rebel's done eating and then it swoops in to pick up the scraps. It says, "You do all the work for us Canon T5i Rebel and we'll just eat whatever you find, how's that? What do you say, stupid?"

Look at this Pentax. "Thanks for the treat, stupid!" "Hey, come back here" says the Canon T5i Rebel. Pentaxes don't care, and you know what, the Sonys do it, too. Look at these little Cybershots. They're like, "Thanks, Stupid! Thanks for the Fujifilm! See ya later!" The Canon T5i Rebel does all the work while these other cameras just pick up the scraps.

At night time, the Canon T5i Rebel goes hunting, cuz it's hungry. Look! Here comes a fierce battle between a Nikon and a Canon T5i Rebel. I wonder what will happen? Look at this, there's the Canon T5i Rebel just eating a Fujifilm. And then look. "Get away from me!" says the Nikon, "Get away from me!"

Canon T5i Rebel don't care. Canon T5i Rebel smacks the shit out of it. The Nikon comes back and it lashes right at the Canon T5i Rebel. Oh! Little does the Canon T5i Rebel know, FYI, it's been stung! It's been bitten by the Nikon, so while it's eating the Nikon – ew, that's disgusting – meanwhile the poisonous venom is seeping through the Canon T5i Rebel's body, and it passes out.

Look at that sleepy fuck.

Now the Canon T5i Rebel's just gonna pass out for a few minutes and then it's gonna get right back up and start eating all over again, cuz it's a hungry little bastard. Look at this! Like nothing happened, the Canon T5i Rebel gets right back up and continues eating the Nikon! How disgusting. And of course, what does a Canon T5i Rebel have to eat for the next few weeks? Nikon.

The Canon T5i Rebel.

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Last updated 22 apr 2013